The Natural Hair Movement Failed Me
When I was in middle faculty, a boy I had a crush on stated that I was cute, but that he did not date women with “my type of hair.” I used to be not sure what was wrong with “my kind of hair,” however presumably he meant the brief sort. Although I by no means really understood what he meant, that remark really caught with me, because I’ve hated my hair for as long as I can remember. I’ve always wished it had been just a little bit bit longer. A tad bit fuller. And much, a lot thicker.
Though I used to be late to the pure hair movement, when i found it in 2013, I believed I had discovered the golden grail. After reading numerous hair blogs and watching tons of of YouTube movies, I concluded that sulfates, chemical relaxers, and heat had been the cause of my short, broken, and skinny hair. All I wanted to do was co-wash my tresses, use protective types, and take some hair vitamins, and i too could have thick curly hair. All of my hair issues could be solved.
And so my pure hair journey started, however for fairly the incorrect causes. I stopped getting relaxers, and within months my hair began shedding like crazy. In accordance with my extensive online research, the place the place your pure hair meets your relaxed hair is named the “point of demarcation” and it is extremely fragile. Intense deep conditioning is encouraged, however some girls simply experience extra shedding than others. I was one of those women that experienced intense shedding. So after a month of my hair falling out in handfuls, a new beautician pushed me to cut my hair. Recognizing my anxiety, she beach hairstyles for curly hair tried to depart some of my relaxed hair at the top, so I didn’t feel fairly as bad.
After just a few weeks of trying a bit crazy, one my besties sat me down with some scissors, and mentioned, “Sweetie, that hair at the top has to go. Trust me, it should look better.” Stuffed with worry, I lastly gave in, and let her lower the last little bit of relaxed hair off the highest of my head. I felt a mix of emotions. I was relieved but nervous. Over the following few days, she taught me methods to finger coil my new teeny weeny afro (TWA), confirmed me her favorite products, and introduced me to edge management. I was determined to do this right. So I changed my diet, beginning working out, drinking water, chopping chemicals out of my weight loss program and my beauty merchandise, all to add in my hair development (and body objectives). Healthy hair comes from wholesome habits, I saved reading. If you liked this short article and you would certainly such as to get additional facts pertaining to loose kindly visit the page. So being the over-achiever I’m, I adopted all of the healthy habits I could.
Anytime I acquired depressed about my lower than an inch of hair, I’d simply google natural hair types, and day dream of how my hair would look in a 12 months or two. According to all the hair blogs, you can rely on about ½ inch of hair growth every month. So I anticipated to have a head stuffed with bouncy moisturized curls inside a 12 months. And i simply knew that inside 2 years, I would be slaying my IG with the entire pure girl hair types. All of my mates had long luscious hair after so effortlessly going natural, so I knew it was attainable. I instructed myself that if I might simply put up with my TWA for a 12 months or so, I might have a lifetime of healthy curly hair.
But after a yr, something terrible occurred. My hair was rising so slow. I was undoubtedly not getting ½ inch per thirty days. My hair was not getting thicker and my curls weren’t popping like the ladies within the blogs. I tried two strand twists, braid outs, and wash-and-gos and they all regarded a hot mess. I felt like the natural hair motion had failed me. My hair didn’t have the curl all of the naturals had on my IG feed. I was furious. I had performed every thing right. I had not put heat on my hair in over a 12 months. I simply spent thousands of dollars on all of the newest hair care products. I was certainly a hair product junkie. And I was consuming clear. I misplaced 30 pounds! However my hair My God, my hair, simply wouldn’t act proper.
I hit a low point when I discovered myself single after my husband and that i separated. Having quick hair and a husband was one thing. However having short hair and being single was one thing totally totally different. I am positive that some guys want quick hair, however my expertise has always been that guys favor longer hair–they may not care if hair is straight or curly, however they secretly want ladies to have hair, numerous it, and ideally not the kind you have got to purchase. My hair an space of real insecurity.
Dealing with all of this anxiety and self-doubt, I met a very blunt, borderline-rude executive type, and after a couple of drinks, he checked out me and said, “I don’t normally like ladies with natural hair. You’ll look a lot prettier with a weave.” I want I might say I cursed him out or that threw my drink on him or that I gave him a lecture on black magnificence and respectability politics. But I did neither. I shrunk in my seat, laughed it off, and said, “Oh yeah, I used to be excited about getting a weave.”
A few weeks later, I used to be driving an hour away to get my first full weave. Although I did not want to make choices about my hair primarily based on what I believed would appeal to a man, I still heard the voice of that middle college boy in my head. I justified my actions by telling myself that I used to be getting a protecting model that may assist my natural hair develop so that after a few months, my massive beautiful curls can be hiding underneath. But a few months changed into an over a year, and i nonetheless had nothing to point out for the hundreds of dollars I spent on the perfect weaves, closures, and wigs that cash may purchase.
More importantly, after a number of installs I realized I did not even like weaves, as a result of I truly did not want bone straight Eurocentric hair. I wished curly, kinky, textured hair and i wished to be able to work out with out worrying about wanting loopy. That is after i found crochet braids, and I’ve been addicted ever since. They are healthier for my hair, I can nonetheless workout, and they’re cheaper than a weave and sooner to put in.
The one problem is that they don’t help me deal with the emotional and psychological baggage I’ve with my God-given hair. I nonetheless have not accepted who I actually am, because I nonetheless hated the stuff that grew out of my head. I’ve realized that I’ve effective hair that may simply never be thick and full. It will never appear like the ladies on IG. Sure, it’s going to grow, however it will all the time be skinny. My TWA is not a phase. It’s my chosen hairstyle. My hair is short, and I am nonetheless beautiful. And I’m learning to love the texture, size, and sort of hair that grows out of my head. And that i can solely hope that the pure hair motion will be less about reaching another person’s look or length, and extra about accepting ourselves as we are. Naturally beautifully.