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You really DID Love Him, Didn’t You

It’s been awhile since I’ve written a Single Lady Information publish – no, not because my “single girl status” has changed in any way, shape, or type – oh Lord, don’t I realize it.


No. Mainly, I’ve been steering clear of those posts for 2 reasons: a) I truthfully felt like I had nothing price sharing, leisure-clever (it’s fairly dry right here in Single Girl Land as of late, I’m afraid). and b) Because the last time I posted, I believe it was about how pissed off I used to be at people jumping in entrance of me in line, and my mom lectured me, saying, “You’re going to scare any eligible males away writing about bitter, angry stuff like that!!”

I think I’m doing an effective job of scaring them away, even without my blog posts, but no matter.

In any case. I had a thought this morning.
I decided it may be enjoyable to inform you about my very first “boyfriend”. (I haven’t had many over time, so I remember the first one quite well!)

My buddy Stacy will probably snicker studying this, considering that I imagine he might need been her first boyfriend too (the number of boys in our class was small; we type of all bounced round between three or 4 of them for most of our elementary college days. haha!)

Up until I started faculty, I don’t suppose I had any crushes on “real” boys, if you understand what I imply. Like, I adored Chachi from Comfortable Days, and that i vaguely recall having a little crush on a teenaged boy who I used to see at swimming lessons when I used to be about four. (I’d only get within the pool if he took me in – oh, I knew the way to work it again then, let me let you know).

However other than that, “real” boys didn’t exist until I started Kindergarten. (I spent an excessive amount of time crying in Pre-K to note any of these boys, apparently).

Kindergarten was a rough yr for ol’ Jill. I hated faculty, I hated leaving my mother and little brother every morning to get on my bus, and i cried just about every.single.day.

But one of many vibrant spots in my day was him.
A little boy with jet-black hair, dark skin, and the biggest brown eyes. In my thoughts, I consider him as a little bit teddy bear. He was such a sweet, kind, pleasant boy, and he instantly became one in all my greatest mates.

And oh, how I liked him. As solely slightly 5-year-outdated lady can love just a little 5-12 months-old boy.
That’s right. We held palms at recess.

I don’t suppose we truly really officially referred to as ourselves “boyfriend & girlfriend” till Grade 2, possibly Grade 3. And naturally, it was just for a number of weeks at a time; we’d always end up “breaking up” over something foolish (just like the time he known as me “baby” in entrance of everyone and it embarrassed me, or the time I wouldn’t share my snack with him. Shocking, I know.) I think about that’s often how elementary faculty courtships go, although, proper

We had lots of fun occasions throughout those rising-up years.
His family moved away from our town, I believe after we have been in Grade 6, and that i actually recall it as one among the most important devestations of my life as much as that time. I cried real tears over him. Though he’d only moved a couple of half-hour away, to me it might as effectively have been half a world away.

I believe I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen him since, and i truthfully don’t assume we’ve ever spoken to one another.

After i noticed him earlier this fall at a perform in my town, it was the primary time I’d seen him in years. Oddly enough, he still struck me as being teddy-bear-like, though a much bigger teddy bear. So tall, so large. And but nonetheless, the softest, kindest brown eyes I’ve ever seen.

I believe he’s married now, and has kids; and yet, when his sister (who I still run into very often) tried to drag me over to say hi to him, he turned away shyly, and so did I. When i noticed her out a number of weeks later, she stated to me, “I don’t get you guys! He was so joyful to see you, he was like, ‘Oh my God, there’s Jillian!!”… and you then each ran and hid from each other! You were his first little girlfriend, you recognize.”

Oh, I know. I remember. And i honestly don’t know why I obtained so nervous about saying hello and catching up with an old pal. Possibly as a result of it’s been so lengthy – too long You understand a kind of conditions, where you think to yourself, “Where would we even start I wouldn’t know what to say.”

In my chatting that night along with his sister and laughing over childhood memories, she mentioned one thing about her brother’s birthday, and without even really thinking, I said, outre remi hair “October 6th, proper ”

Her jaw dropped, and that i turned pink as outre remi hair she exclaimed, “You remember his birthday ! You really DID love him, didn’t you ! ”

I laughed it off, and joked, “No!! It’s as a result of your mom used to all the time usher in one of the best cupcakes on his birthday!!!”

(Fat girls remember these things, yo.)
However truthfully, I don’t assume we ever overlook these first “true” loves, will we The primary time a boy makes your heart go pitter-patter The first time your stomach flips with nervousness and pleasure The first time the phone rings, and your mother says, “It’s for youuuuu,” in that sing-songy voice, and then your head begins pounding with euphoria if you notice it’s not your grandmother on the line eager to say hi, it’s him…

I believe we spend the remainder of our lives trying to find the man who will do all of those issues to us. Those of you who have discovered yours I envy you. I really do. As a result of I haven’t found mine yet.

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